Ready to try anal? Anal has always been a much-loved secret – holding the spot for the eighth most searched-for term on PornHub in the UK. But, outside the bedroom? Anal has a more disputed rep.
However, attitudes are changing. With celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow sharing her guide to anal and the surging popularity of the podcast Sex with Dr Jess discussing butt play, more and more couples are willing to get adventurous.
Yet, it requires more patience and preparation than other positions, like vaginal intercourse.
The good news is that anal is pleasurable for all genders. Whether you didn’t like it as much as you hoped or it’s your first time, we’ve got some tips, tricks, and much-needed products to try something new – and enjoy it.
1. Go solo first
Just like any sexual activity, it’s important that you’re comfortable with your own body before letting anyone else near your butt. And self-exploration is a great way to get to know what you like – and what you don’t.
Try starting with one lubed finger. Take it slow, see what feels good, and practice relaxing your muscles. Add anal play to your usual masturbation routine to help relax and intensify your orgasm.
2. Remember hygiene
One of the main reasons people are put off of anal is hygiene and it is an important consideration. After all, we are playing with the same area we poop from.
Firstly, make sure you wash your hands both before and after. If you’re using toys like a butt plug, it’s a good idea to use an antibacterial sex toy cleaner to clean your toys properly after each use.
Secondly, you should consider using a douche to ensure everything is squeaky clean back there. This involves a little more preparation – but it can help you relax and make sure there are no mishaps or embarrassing moments.
3. Use anal lube
Unlike the vagina, the anus does not naturally lubricate – no matter how turned on you are. Whether you are using a toy, a penis, or a finger, you need to invest in anal lube to lessen pain and enhance enjoyment.
Luckily there are plenty of products to ensure maximum pleasure – from silicone-based or water-based lubes to natural lubes that are gentle on your skin. We recommend using silicone-based lube for anal because it’s thicker and requires fewer re-applications.
4. Try a butt plug
Butt plugs are good places to start if you’re new to anal. Whether you have a vagina or penis, butt plugs can help stimulate and intensify your orgasm.
Distinguished by their flared base to stop them from getting lost inside, these toys come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and materials. It’s best to start with something small and work your way up.
5. Communication, communication, communication
If you’ve explored your anal area yourself and feel ready to try with a partner, remember that communication is key. Take the time to sit down and discuss what you want to try and what you’d rather stay away from.
It’s also important to check in with your partner during anal play to ensure you both feel comfortable. Don’t forget you can always hit pause and try again another time.
6. Slow down
Don’t rush it; anal is supposed to be fun.
As with any sex position, foreplay enhances enjoyment. Without going into too much anatomical detail, the butt is made up of two sphincters – which contain very strong muscles. They are ultra-responsive and without a proper warm-up, can make the experience very painful.
An anal massage or gentle fingering will help relax the sphincter muscles. Maybe your partner might even gently use their tongue – otherwise known as rimming. But remember to go at a pace that suits you both.
7. Find the right position
So, you’re ready to enjoy anal sex with your partner. Just like with vaginal penetration, there are lots of positions to explore. If you’re new, we recommend trying these first:
- Missionary – Perfect for face-to-face intimacy and eye contact
- Spooning – Great for relaxing into penetration, which is particularly important
- Face Down – Opening up access and control to the partner on top
See which position works best for you. Once you’ve mastered the basics, don’t be afraid to get more adventurous.
Prioritise pleasure
With anal play becoming increasingly popular for all bodies and genders, it’s vital to practice patience and communication. Take it slow, stock up on the products you need to make it safe and pleasurable – and enjoy discovering something new. With the right preparation, you may well enjoy intense orgasms in no time.
