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A Beginner’s Guide To Sex Parties


Curious about sex parties but not sure where to start? If you’ve never been to one before, your imagination might be running wild – from mysterious soirées to sweaty orgies. But, in reality, they’re far less intimidating.

We’ve put together an introduction to the world of sex parties, from what they are to how to prepare for them. We’ll cover everything from communicating boundaries to avoiding certain behaviours – all to ensure you have a safe and enjoyable experience. 

What is a sex party?

At its simplest, a sex party is when people come together to engage in sexual activities with each other. It’s the perfect place to explore new sexual horizons with like-minded people in a safe environment. 

Believe it or not, sex parties have been around since the ancient Greeks, who held orgies as part of their festivals. And, as films like Caligula and Eyes Wide Shut will tell you, sex parties remained popular throughout the twentieth century. Today, sex parties are much more discreet. Consenting adults establish boundaries beforehand so that everyone can have a safe and enjoyable experience.

How to prepare for a sex party

Going to your first sex party might feel scary. But don’t worry. Most sex parties are respectful and safe. Here’s how to leave the nerves behind and prepare for your first sex party.

  • Remember to wash! Good personal hygiene is essential to ensure a fun and exciting night. So trim up and prepare if that’s your thing!
  • Check the dress code. Dress codes can vary depending on the event – some may require formal attire, while others may encourage fetish wear.
  • Practise safe sex. Using sexual health protection like condoms and lubricant ensures everyone has a safe and enjoyable experience.
  • Consider your own boundaries. The venue will ask that you respect others’ limits. However, you should also think carefully about what communication, physical contact, and sexual activities you wish to engage in or not.

Keep in mind the importance of communication, boundaries, and discretion. With a little preparation, you’ll make your sex party debut with confidence.

The dos and don’ts of your first sex party

Sex parties are liberating, enjoyable, and positive events. However – like any sexual encounter – there are a few dos and don’ts to ensure everyone has a good time. 

Do ask for consent and respect boundaries

While it’s not for everyone, sex parties are the perfect places to explore group sexual dynamics and sexuality. But above all else, consent is paramount. Respect the boundaries and wishes of your fellow party-goers – making sure to get a clear and enthusiastic ‘yes’ before engaging in any kind of sexual activity. Plus, pay attention to any cues or signals that someone may give. 

You should also take the time to clearly communicate what you are and aren’t comfortable with before entering any kind of sexual situation. Establishing these boundaries ensures that everyone’s needs are met in the moment and that no one feels pressured or disrespected.

Focus on pleasure and don’t be afraid to speak up if something isn’t working for you.

Don’t get drunk

You might feel tempted to get a buzz on going to your first sex party – especially if you’re nervous. But, getting too intoxicated could lead to decisions that you later regret or put you at risk. To ensure everyone feels comfortable and safe, it’s best to stay away from alcohol. 

Do practice discretion

Sex parties can be incredibly liberating and freeing experiences. But only if everyone respects each other’s right to privacy. Even though sex parties are not typically private events, you still shouldn’t share information about other attendees without their permission. 

For this reason, most venues and parties ban phones. Even if there aren’t specific rules, avoid taking pictures or videos.

Don’t pressure

Everyone should be free to explore their sexuality at their own pace and in their own way. That means you and others. Don’t pressure anyone or give in to pressure to act in a way you aren’t comfortable with.

Not everyone comes to have sex. If you’re not into playing, that’s totally okay too! 

Do have fun

Sex parties should be fun! Give yourself permission to explore and enjoy the experience without judgement or expectations. So, come with an open mind and let yourself go. 

Top 5 Sex parties in the UK

  1. Heaven Circle

The self-proclaimed number-one venue for naughty events, Heaven Circle is a premium sex party organisation that hosts luxurious orgies and events in London. They are renowned for their discretion and have strict rules around consent and boundaries – and are particularly popular for their strict vetting process.  

  1. Killing Kittens

Killing Kittens puts women first. Leave the antiquated values at home and come to a sex party where the women are in control. Killing Kittens have been around for nearly 10 years, running exclusive events all over the UK.

  1. Skirt Club

Become the mistress of your own life at Skirt Club – an international organisation that caters specifically to women looking to discreetly explore their sexuality. Skirt Club organises parties across the UK, including in London, Brighton, and Manchester.

  1. Dominium Vita

A place where you can feel free and let your inner-most desires run wild, Dominium Vita is one of the most popular sex parties in London. They run regular events for couples and single women who wish to explore their sexuality in a safe and private environment.

  1. Le Boudoir

Party with like-minded guests at Le Boudouir Club in London. Le Boudouir is open to couples and singles entering the swinging scene. It’s a great place to explore kinks and desires in a safe, fun, and consensual setting.

Ready for your first sex party?

From ancient Greece to the 1970’s swinger culture, sex parties are as old as time and modern sex clubs remain popular in the 21st century. Whatever your kink or preference, you’ll find a party to cater to you. So, grab your favourite sex toys, prepare to have a good time, and let loose. 

Posted In: Beginner's Guides

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